Yesterday I was at Owl & Company over on Piedmont Ave in Oakland and came across an interesting read by complete chance. It is a book of poetry and narrative of archy, who was a roach in 1920, and before that, a free verse poet. Archy hops from key to key on a typewriter leaving notes for his human ‘boss’ who owns the typewritter and ‘provides’ him with food in the garbage can. It is a real treat, and because of the whitespace, a real short treat at that. I finished it within a couple hours. The curious thing was that soon after reading this I found an untitled document open on TextEdit that I do not recall having anything to do with. I’m keeping it here so that I can document it.
i used to be a programmer but now i am just a roach that had my soul transmigrated from a programmer after i died why a roach you ask well if you must know it is for my programmer sins like using so much indirection and so many underscores oh the irony i can t even press the shift key being a roach can t even make an underscore much less left parenthesis right parenthesis the funny thing is being a roach now i have many ideas but can t code any more left parenthesis i had some ideas while human they all made money like the one to drive cars with mustaches or umlauts can t remember same thing really they all take thirty percent right parenthesis when you die and turn into a roach they give you all your money it carries over so to say but as a roach it is hard to pick up a dollar bill and they don t make credit cards for us but now i have no rent to worry about i live in a lovely victorian and the food is good as ever now i have time to think come up with some real good ones but since money doesn t mean anything now i think of programs to make abstract art i described it to the venture capitalist he said people don t want roach art apps they hate things that are ugly and free or maybe just things that are free that are made by a roach i told him i don t need money he said why dont you need money i said i m a roach he said lol i should have known i am hiring a taskrabbit to step on you and another to save you to make it a fair game because they call me an angel investor and i want to disrupt the world anyway i decided to leave then only a few problems for roaches there is a programmer rat here named steve code reviewing my text bad indentation he says its not even code i say he says you got that right what a jerk